The Goonies
Okay, I love this movie you guys. I. Love. It. I wanted to
go on an adventure like Mikey and the other Goonies and find pirate treasure in
Connecticut. It's such a great mix of a teenage comedy with adventure and
drama. Our intrepid heroes, though sometimes deeply annoying because, you know,
they're teenagers, are still likeable…you want them to succeed in saving their
homes from that douchebag developer. The villains are just as amazing. Who
isn't afraid of Anne Ramsey? I still am. Robert Davi and Joe Pantoliano are
hilarious as her two villain sons.
But Goonies
belongs to Sloth. HEY YOU GUYS!
Goonies is so 80s
but in the best possible way. Songs with Cyndi Lauper, Corey Feldman, Robert
Davi, and Richard Donner at the height of his powers—what's better than that?
Plot in a Nutshell:
In Astoria, Oregon, a massive dickwad developer is buying up all the houses
along the "Goon Docks" including asthmatic Mikey and his
exercise-obsessed older brother Brand's as well as inventor Data's, annoying
Mouth's, and literal idiot Chunk's. Mikey and his friends take matters into
their own hands to try to find One Eyed Willy's lost pirate treasure to help
save their homes. Brand, tasked with bringing Mikey home, and cheerleader Andy
and her best friend Stef join up as well. Hijinks ensue. The kids defeat not
just the outlaw Fratelli family but also all of One Eyed Willy's booby traps to
save their homes. Sloth gets a new, happy home with Chunk. Mikey suddenly
doesn't need his inhaler anymore.
WTF: Though I
only just realized this movie takes place in Oregon right now. Oops. Where did
Mouth learn how to speak and read Spanish fluently? Surely not school? Why the
hell hadn't Social Services taken Sloth away from his evil as fuck mother and
two sadistic siblings? No one, in all that time, ever successfully navigated
One Eyed Willy's caves? Really? Or…did they all die? I cannot imagine any
parent letting his/her kids out by themselves, doing what the kids did then,
now.
Fun Facts are Fun:
Jonathan Ke Huy Quan, who plays Data, was also in another iconic 80s movie—Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Goonies was Josh Brolin's debut. The
script was written by Chris Columbus, the man who directed Home Alone and the first two Harry
Potter movies. One producer of Goonies
was Steven Spielberg, who apparently directed at least one scene.
The Verdict: Goonies, how do I love thee? Let me
count the ways…
I'm doing something very special for the blog next week—a TV
Interlude! I'll have a very special guest blogging with me. Stay tuned!
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