A TV Interlude: Legends of the Hidden Temple
So I promised something different this week—not only am I
doing a television interlude but I also have a co-blogger this week! My
wonderful best friend Brina will be covering one of our favorite childhood
television shows—Legends of the Hidden
Temple. What a cheesy Nickelodeon show. Kirk Fogg and Olmec with crazy ass
Temple Guards slowly torture children who run through a maze, all under the
guise of being slightly educational.
Brina and I did not watch the entire series (we're ADULTS
and don't have time for that insanity). We watched two episodes (thanks
YouTube!). It's as cheesy, corny, and entertaining as it was when we watched it
as kids.
Brina is going to be in this
font. I'll be in my trusty Times New Roman.
Oh Legends of the Hidden Temple, it’s no
wonder I loved this show so much. Pairing physical challenges with fun stories
from history. I wanted to be on this show so badly as a kid. And while it was
fun to watch, it was always so STRESSFUL rooting for the teams to get the final
prize. In addition to loving this show as a kid, I rewatched it several times
later in life with my amazing friend Vikki, and it is just as stressful now as
it was then. Let’s get this show on the road, the ancient road, to the ancient
temple, that is…
Plot in a Nutshell:
Teams compete in various
challenges (physical and one trivia) in order to get to the final stage of
going through the temple to obtain the historical artifact du jour. Teams get
narrowed down further and further throughout the challenges until one team
remains and they get to try their luck at the temple.
Specifically, the two episodes we're reviewing are Lawrence
of Arabia's Headdress and Icarus' Broken Wing aka one of these things was a
thing and one of these things is a myth but whatever.
We'll start with Lawrence of Arabia's Headdress. Cross dat
moat. I guess a savings bond from Hershey is a cool prize? Better than a can of
tuna. Steps of Knowledge…AKA
did you pay attention? Did the green monkeys just say camels store their water
in their “lump”? Or hump, either way, it’s legit! Did they seriously
give away a gift card for Fashion Bug? Not
bad, still better than tuna. The prizes should be get exponentially better, if
I remember correctly. Now it's time to get to know the contestants aka
here's one fact about each of you that's supposing to be interesting but it's
not. Ehh here is get to know
the teams. Blah blah Red Jaguars one plays the trumpet.one of the green monkeys
writes “radio plays,” whatever those are. Like, do the radio plays
actually get played on the radio? Time for physical challenges in which the
teams can win bits of a pedant of life for the Temple Run. My childhood and adult playtime
pastimes are colliding! Except you don't win pedants of life, dear.
*wink* Let’s see the Red Jaguars
consolation prize—a Simpsons game for the Sega Genesis! That is pretty cool,
I’d like that now…in addition to a working Sega Genesis. Or maybe I just need
to get my emulator skills back up and running. Time for the Temple
Run!!!!!! The three prizes are My Magic Diary, a karaoke machine, and a trip Cayman
Islands! Still not better than Space Camp, sorry not sorry. Oh this will never not be stressful
to watch, move faster! Candace encounters two temple guards so now it’s her
teammate’s turn. Unfortunately, he doesn’t seem to be as fast as her. Nah
he was slow as hell. He still got the headdress out of the Temple though so
yay!
Now it's time for Icarus and his broken ass wing. The first test, swing on rope across
a murky put of water, er the moat. The rope is apparently “ancient” according
to Olmec. Call me crazy, I would be nervous swinging on an “ancient” rope. The
risk of deterioration and disintegration? But, as Olmec says, “Let’s Rock the
Moat.” The prize are BK RatchTech sneakers. Better than tuna. Steps of
Knowledge aka don't listen to eagles, kids. Consolation
prize—Sleeping Beauty limited edition
home video. Not bad, a classic Disney movie. I kind of miss that sound of
rewinding VHS tapes…until I need to skip scenes on a DVD. Physical
challenges to win pendants blah blah blah. But there needs to be a tiebreaker!
OH SNAP. Green Monkeys get the
question, they win. The consolation for the silver snakes is- a savings bond
from Sketchers. Um, I guess that’s cool. A step up from ring pops and tuna? Indeed,
dear. Temple Run! Bonus points
for Olmec saying “Shrine of the SIIIIIIILVER monkey” kind of funny. Let’s see
how Jason does. Prize is- Sanibel Island. Not space camp, but not a lame ranch
either. Goddamn that kid was slow as goddamn molasses. AAAAnnnd he gets the wing but takes
his dear sweet time getting back and missed getting the big prize. If I
were his partner, I'd cut a bitch.
WTF: Olmec in
general. He's so wtf but so great at the same time.
Fun Facts are Fun:
Kirk Fogg is still around, you guys! There was a Nick movie based on the show
that came out late last year, so that may be a thing we do…
The Verdict: Overall with the rewatch, the show
has a lot of fun value, and it holds up over time. It’s gimmicky, but they play
their gimmick out whole-heartedly and by George I still love that gimmick. Dare
I say, I think this could be successful if they tried to revive it. Not with
that movie though…that just looks like a terrible idea. What she said.
Thanks dear! Next week, dear readers, it'll be back to
normal with Return of the Jedi to
complete the Carrie Fisher Rest in Peace Tour on the blog.
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